Pâté for beginners (that would be me).

Confession number one. I've never eaten pâté. Not once. Despite having grown up with a pâté-loving and pâté-making mama, and, in recent years having worked with the pâté queen of Australia, I've never been tempted to sample even a spoonful. As a child, I think I just found the smell too rich and robust. As a grown up, the hangover from my years as a vegetarian leave me with an unshakable distaste for, well, animal organs. I know. It's a little hypocritical to eat one cut of chook and not another, but personal preferences are just that- and my preference is for- not liver. 

Confession number two. I have a tendency to indulge my neurotic worrying side. I try really hard to be more like my husband, who is calmness personified, but when it comes to my kids, I just can't fight it. So, at my daughter's twelve month check up, when the doctor announced that my little one is on the fifth percentile for height and weight, a shift from where she has always tracked on the 25th percentile, I began to chew my lip and analyse this development. Or lack thereof. Was she eating well? Was my milk ok? Was she allergic to something? Had I somehow stunted her? I stand not-so-tall at 5 foot 2. My grandma was 5 foot 1, if that. Shortness- not so hard to understand. 

Nonetheless, to reassure myself that both kids are getting their absolute max of protein, I ordered some free-range chicken livers into a local butchery, then eyed them off in my fridge, nervously, and with disgust, until my mum arrived, placed a wine in my hand, and gave me the encouragement I needed to (I can't believe I am typing this) begin picking off the membranes and slicing off any fatty tissue and black spots. Seriously. I was initially the most grossed out I have ever been in my life. More grossed out even than when I peeled my first Ox tongue. Or when I clean out the fish tank (slimy water and fish wee, ewwwww!). After the first four or so livers though, I actually started to enjoy the silky feel of them.

Would I rush back to the liver pan and make another batch of pâté? I am afraid I am going to have to. Little miss One devoured this with gusto. She shunned the bread I served it on (just baked organic wholemeal) and preferred to ingest it pure, just spoonful after spoonful. We had to cut her off so as not to overwhelm her on the first liver outing. Recipe coming soon.